So there we were, the glamour of the local registry office all around us, waiting to give notice of our intention to marry. Palms sweating, we nervously grinned through our (separate) interviews to check we weren't already married and all that. Ridiculous to worry I know - all they did was ask me his name, my dad's job, and whether my intended was already related to me (I know I come from fairly near Dewsbury, but give me some credit).
Still, having to answer any kind of formal question fills me with dread, especially the most straightforward ones. At the airport, the bored, usually monotone query "Did you pack your bag yourself?" makes me blink uncontrollably. I think I just exude an air of guilt. My parents still think I stole eight bags of Iced Gems from the kitchen cupboard in 1991 just because I couldn't stop giggling when they waved the empty multipack around accusingly. I did a lot of binge-eating as a kid, but I swear on anyone's life that it wasn't me.
It made me wonder how bigamists manage to get through so many of these interviews, and how the hell someone would get themselves in that situation. So (tenuous link alert) I started thinking about my own regrets. Just minor ones, bloody annoying niggles. Nothing like "I wish I'd never lied about being married before or never dropped those government documents in a bin in a public place or murdered that prostitute," but the ones that when you think about them, you do a little 'grrr' because they're just so irritating. So here are a couple of mine for your enjoyment.
